What my friend has learned so far (after 10 months of being a Mom).
Shortly after writing this post about what I’ve learned in the 10 weeks of being a Mom, one of my oldest friends wrote me the below email. I love it, because it shows me what I have to look forward to, things I can do to be a better mother now, and what her days are like.
Enjoy!
When I saw your post on 10 weeks of new motherhood I could not help but sit down and write out some of my own thoughts on what I know now as the mother of a 10 month old.
Here goes…
1. Expect, and enjoy, slow meals as your baby learns to eat a variety of tastes and textures. Permit (encourage?!) the mess - it is all a learning experience.
2. As you experience the “diaper dodge” (my name for the squirming, wriggling, escape artist techniques that T employs to avoid getting a diaper put on) equip the changing station with a special “toy” that is unique and novel for changing situations only. T likes my blue comb, and it sometimes keeps him entertained so I can change him efficiently.
3. Another diapering pointer: if you do have a squirmer and you know it will be a dirty diaper, slip a wipe onto the changing pad cover so when he kicks his feet out of your hands, he has a 60-40 chance of landing his dirty butt on the wipe, not the changing pad cover, saving a bit of laundry.
4. Trust yourself and your husband to know what is best for you both and your little guy. You know him best. If it feels right to you, it is, despite admonitions or doubts by others.
5. Take your guy out! If you like museums, take him along. If you like walks and the lake, get ther with the whole family. He will love the new sights, sounds, and you will love sharing your special spaces with your baby (just be ready to leave when he is).
6. All babies grow and develop at their own pace. Moms and Dads (and especially grandparents) will want to know exactly what your baby is doing, how many teeth he has, what he eats, how and when he sleeps… all in craze to make sure they are not behind / that their little one is on track. Don’t get caught up in comparing with others, even if they have a baby the exact same age. Enjoy the stage, accomplishment and milestone that your guy is experiencing, it will be a memory too quickly!
7. Take toys out of circulation. When they re-enter the rotation baby will have fun with the rediscovery of a toy and play with it a lot more than if it was just one he saw everyday in the box. He’ll also find new things to do with the toy. (T is into twirling toys now - so cute!)
8. Give Dad and baby space to make their own way. It is easy to want to instruct Dad on what works for baby from your point of view. But it is really important to give Dad the freedom and opportunity to discover how the two of them get along (even if it means you have to remove yourself from the bath area because you keep thinking he will drown the poor little guy - he won’t!)
9. Your baby will fall as he learns to sit up, crawl, stand, cruise and walk - it is part of the process. Don’t worry about every little (or even not so little) bump and tumble. As our pediatrician said, “worry when he knocks himself out”. Perhaps a little extreme, but it certainly was a good reminder as I felt a bit panicked during the first couple stumbles.
(ps. “cruising” is walking around while holding onto things. My nurse practitioner could not believe I did not know that action had a designated name - did you?)
10. Your little guy is fast - watch out! I have managed to catch his hand twice before it plunged into my coffee, but missed him twice when he plunged it into his oatmeal and apricots, sending the whole meal onto the table, himself, and the floor. Once was in the Madrid airport, whoops.
11. A funny face, noise, or game from you can often turn his whimpers into laughs.
12. You will do a lot of laundry, A LOT of laundry (you’ve probably realized this already… it continues). But, laundry (and dishes, etc…) can wait. Your little one is so fun and changing so fast - don’t miss a moment!
