Why do my bad things happen in 15s?
My whole life I have operated under a natural, but what I’ve recently come to realize as somewhat unique, insanely positive and optimistic view of life. To me, if you can find the positive in anything then there’s a way to move forward, and it can often open up new opportunities that might have otherwise gone into hibernation if you stress, bitch, moan or my biggest pet peeve, complain about things….instead, look at the world around you and realize how lucky you are to be who you are, where you are, with what you have - I don’t care who you are, there’s always positive in any situation.
This innate philosoophy I’ve lived my life by has been deemed by some as superficial, dishonest, flaky, impractical and trivial. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I’m nothing if not overly-practical, I wear my emotions so honestly on my sleeve it’s ridiculous, and while I’m a smily sunny person, I don’t think I’m flaky at all. It’s simply my decision to be positive.
A boss and mentor of mine added another element to this belief, when he would implore his staff and friends to walk through work and life with a “positive default assumption”….that is, why immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion with something or someone, why not inherently give the benefit of the doubt? Positive default assumption. No other mantra could ring truer to me. I love the idea behind this, the reason, the result and the karmic goldstars that come with such a philosophy.
These beliefs have been put to the test in the last three weeks, when my bad things just keep happening…I had been a believer in the “bad things happen in threes” superstition, but this superstition has been trashed as of late as it felt like the hard things kept coming in waves….my position was eliminated and I had three days warning that I was losing my job; my friend’s brother died unexpectedly; a friend’s baby was born very sick; two close friends weddings were planned on the same day at the same time, 700 miles apart; no health insurance (yet); two huge medical bills; terrible meeting with a respected leader in my field; my wallet was stolen; another horrendous meeting; “unresolved problem with my unemployment claim”; I ran into my former boss and friend who laid me off and all the hurt and anger came back; I had to make an agreement with my husband that we wouldn’t spend any money on each other for our birthdays (which are a month apart), even though I love spoiling him on his birthday and already had what I thought were fantastic presents picked out; I have felt, suddenly (since turning a new milestone decade) and undescribable urge, desire and need to have a baby; my iPhone shattered; and did I mention it’s the worst economy and job market of my life?
I’ve already shed a few tears in the last few weeks, but for the most part have been positive….but when I barely dropped my phone last night and picked it up to see the screen shattered, I burst into tears in my husband’s arms. I know that things will get better, but for the first time it’s not only because I believe so wholeheartedly in being positive, but also because to some extent it feels like it would be hard for things to get much worse. Yes, I feel like I’m inviting the devil to dinner by even writing that…of course things can get worse, but this is the hardest month I’ve faced in a long time.
However, true to form even as I was writing that I started thinking about all the things in my life that I’m so thankful for….a happy, fun, respectful, trusting and loving marriage, a wonderful dog and house, a beautiful zip code to call home, a great education and resume to lean back on, and a healthy body. These are not things to shrug at, and perhaps it’s good for me to be reminded that the important things in life (health, happiness, love) are the ones to cherish most.
I think I’ll go make my husband some chocolate chip cookies.
